{Real Talk} You Light Up My Life

It's with a heavy heart and tearful eyes that I write this post. Some people may wonder why I go to my blog as the place to talk about this, but maybe it's because the best and easiest way for me to express myself is through words. Today I lost my Grandma. She was one of the strongest, bravest, most caring people that I know. She made the best homemade sugar cookies and mashed potatoes and meatballs, and she always knew how to take 'em in scrabble or upwords. Sharp and a fearful woman of God, she struggled with Parkinson's disease for the past five years. Being the fighter she is, many didn't know until recent months. As most, there are so many things I wish I could have asked her. Only things she could have been able to teach me. But in the twenty one years I had with her, I learned so much. I learned how to sing this little piggy in Finnish. I learned how to make homemade frosting. I learned the importance of having a God-centered marriage. I learned how to play any kind of word game you could have ever imagined. I learned about the different kinds of birds that live near Lake Huron and how to make nectar for Hummingbirds.

There are so many things I would have loved to do with her again, like make a hundred Christmas cookies, sing praise songs, do a puzzle, watch Little House on the Prairie or The Sound of Music. Or have a conversation in Finnish. I have been blessed with the opportunity to know and love this wonderful woman, and I am so grateful that I have always been so close with her. I am also blessed to have two sets of grandparents who have shown me what it is like to have a long lasting marriage and care for someone so much. I have never seen someone take such amazing care of a person like my Grandpa did with my Grandma. No one had even shown me what the wedding vows "in sickness and in health" really meant until my Grandma was diagnosed with Parkinson's years ago.

In the end, I know she is in a better place and it is where she wanted to be. It doesn't make it easier, but it does make me joyful that this is what she wanted for a while. This year has been such a whirlwind of crazy life events. I literally can't even fathom handling much more. Everything was so slow and sudden at the same time. Although you sang to me always as a child the song "you light up my life", you literally did light up my life and the lives of so many others around you. So for now, bake everyone the best cookies heaven could offer Grandma. I can't wait to see you again one day.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.