{RealTalk}: The Struggles of an Oncology Nurse

October is breast cancer awareness month. Why does that matter to me? People who know me would say, duh because you're a nurse who works in oncology. People who know me well would say, duh because your mom battled that beast. Yes and yes. But also this month is always a time of reflection for me, not just about breast cancer, but about ALL types of cancer. And it's my personal favorite time of year to say: WAKE UP PEOPLE. I'll tell you why I say that, and why I'm so passionate about it. It's because of what I do and what I see every. single. day.

In my department we see about two hundred people per day, give or take. Whether that is people on treatment, people coming for follow up visits, or people who are walking in our doors for the first time ever. Since working with the sarcoma group and at Duke in general, I have seen too many people, from kids to ninety year olds, pass away from this terrible disease. I honestly don't think I have ever been so frustrated or saddened than I have in the past year. It's bad enough these people have to go through this terrible thing once, being diagnosed the first time is awful. But then, some of them go through it all over again. From getting close to these patients, seeing them week by week, having them ask for you by name when they come into the clinic, and then sitting there with them when they get the worse news possible: their cancer has come back, there's nothing we can do except cross our fingers for a clinical trial or a new drug. It's terrible. It's heart-wrenching. And its a struggle that I deal with and happens way too often. Some of them have this disease by pure genetic chance, some by unknown reasons, and some by lifestyle choices they have made in their lives. 

So I'm getting up on my soapbox as I do every year at this time to BEG you, PLEAD to you: change what you can in your life to eliminate putting yourself through these awful conversations and leaving your family members behind because YOU made these choices over and over again. Tobacco is the leading cause of cancer and death from cancer. You can quote me on that, it's published just about everywhere. I honestly don't even know how this crap is still being used. But I guess we could say that about a lot of things. You're not just hurting yourselves you're hurting people around you. Your kids, your family, your friends. Even if you go smoke outside, unless you burn your clothes before coming in, you're giving them secondhand smoke. If you're going to use marijuana, even though its still illegal, put it in some brownies and eat it, don't smoke it. You're still damaging your lungs and increasing your chance of head and neck cancer, as well as other kinds. And if you smoke cigarettes or marijuana AND drink in the same period of time, you're just asking for head and neck cancer. Want to know why head and neck cancer sucks so much? Google some pictures, you'll regret it. I send pictures to my friends who tell me they smoke and drink. Yep, hope I ruined your "fun time". You'll be having a real "fun time" when you're in your 50's or 60's getting surgery and facial reconstruction because of your "fun times" in the good old days. You can Google some pictures of that too. And get used to not eating, because that delicious food you love so much, now you'll be having a feeding tube for longer than patients with these kinds of cancers who didn't smoke or drink. Yum liquid diet. Yum thick mucous that is so hard to swallow you usually vomit when you try it. DELICIOUS! 

Anyways I could go on for hours about this, but you catch my drift: smoking and excessive drinking is stupid. Don't ruin your life or the people around you. Watching people die from cancer is bad enough when the reason is unknown or can't be controlled, but when it could have been prevented, that is when it is even worse. So your "imma do me" attitude about life is really saying "imma end up killing my lungs, possibly getting some kind of cancer, and possibly giving the people around me cancer as well". Just don't do it. There are so many ways to get help to STOP smoking! GET THE HELP YOU NEED AND DO IT TODAY. And BONUS, you'll save TONS of money by not binge drinking at the bar or at home and by not buying cigarettes. And you may save your life? Who could ask for more of a win-win? But when you get to that point no matter what caused your disease, nurses will treat you with compassion and take care of you until the end, whether that is death or remission. That is one of the biggest struggles. Watching people regret their past choices and then watching the same people walk out the door and smoke a cigarette. It's hard guys, but I DO treat my patients the same no matter what, I'd just rather not watch people make a CHOICE to have cancer. Some people don't get to choose, and end up with it anyways.

Another one of the struggles of being an oncology nurse is being frustrated with our great advancing modern medicine that isn't advancing quite fast enough to help save people from going through this. So support the American Cancer Society, local cancer research, or whatever you are passionate about related to cancer! It DOES make a difference. And keep praying that soon we find a cure or at least a way to help prevent this disease. I know I am.

Thanks for reading my annual rant and PSA! Make good choices friends!

- Olivia :)