Pure shock, joy, anxiety, worry, happiness, tears of joy, nausea, cravings, random tears, mood swings, sore boobs, frequent urination, constipation, severe fatigue.
These are the some of the REAL and transparently honest parts of what I personally experienced during my first trimester of pregnancy. Pregnancy for me has been such an incredible experience of complete awe of God and how he has created us and TINY LITTLE BABY HEARTS. Like how does something so small have a functioning micro heart?! Seriously so much awe. It also has been a lot of nausea and wondering “am I ever going to want to eat a chicken breast again? or be able to cook one?”. Follow that up with severe fatigue. Add in working a demanding full time (and then some) job all while trying to keep this growing human a secret until it’s the “right” time to tell everyone. CREATING A HUMAN IS SOME HARD WORK GUYS. I’m not going to outline every week during this initial phase of pregnancy because honestly they are all kind of similar, filled with lots of things that aren’t fun. But here are some things that I wanted to share with some of my besties (and did with some who knew early BECAUSE ITS HARD TO KEEP THINGS THIS EXCITING A SECRET WHEN YOU WORK WITH PEOPLE AND THEY SEE YOU ERRYDAY OKAY). These are things I thought were odd and hilarious and just straight up confusing:
- First real symptom for me: constipation. What?! This is not what I expected. Any other mamas out there that dealt with this annoying and less talked about symptom?? When sitting on the couch this summer I had shared with my SIL that I was experiencing this (we are close if you have a sister you know it’s not weird) and she said “I googled it and it says a top cause of this is pregnancy”. Well she did not know I was pregnant at the time and Madi almost spit out his food he was laughing so hard. But y’all ITS TRUE.
- Guilt. It’s complicated. But I felt guilty that when we got pregnant we didn’t experience some things that others have struggled with. I know so many people who are having/had a hard time getting pregnant or who have miscarried. Obviously this is something that could still happen. But this is a REAL feeling for me. I pray every single day for people struggling with miscarriage and infertility because I know so many who it has impacted. Also just people who want kids but haven’t met the right person yet. That’s why it was even hard for me to be happy about this pregnancy initially. I seriously was drowning in guilt. And also had a hard time telling these people experiencing this that I was pregnant because I didn’t want to come off like I was bragging or that I was “above” them. Which these people would NEVER think that but again, it’s how I felt. I was reading the book What Alice Forgot when I found out I was pregnant and if you’ve read it, you know that book did NOT help me feel less of these feelings. However I am SO glad that we live in a world where people are more comfortable sharing their stories about miscarriage and infertility. I get that not everyone is because it’s super personal and heartbreaking but it’s not as unheard as it used to be and I think that has helped make people more aware of real life issues instead of them just being hidden away. TALKING TO SOMEONE ABOUT THESE THINGS IS SOOOO IMPORTANT! Don’t ever feel like you should just bottle up anything inside. GET IT OUT!! End of this part for now. I could go on for days. But love all my fellow females and their stories that they’ve been brave enough to share.
- It is so crazy to learn more about genetic testing. Most people are probably shocked to read that we did do genetic testing. Why are they shocked you may ask? Because we are pro-life and so why find out genetic information if it won’t change your mind on if you want to terminate the pregnancy or not? More to come on this in a later post, we actually have a really interesting (to me) story to tell about our experience with genetic testing and why we personally chose to do it. If you have questions before the next blog post comes out because you are trying to make a decision about whether or not to do genetic testing, let me know and I’d be happy to share my story with you :)
- CRAVINGS ARE LEGIT. Cotton candy, little ceasars pizza and crazy bread with crazy sauce and a BIG Pepsi, cold stone cake batter ice cream, CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE, Taco Bell nachos with the cheese OMGGGG. I keep thinking about these cravings, but it hasn’t gotten to the point where I make Madi run out to Taco Bell at 10pm. Yet...
P.S. pre-post update: I totally have eaten almost all of these things since I initially wrote this post #sorrynotsorry
- Literally one night I’m sitting on the couch watching Princess Diaries 2 (the part where she lets the orphans be in the Independence Day parade) and I start crying. Like real tears. And I knew it was ridiculous. And I couldn’t stop. This isn’t even a sad movie!
#pregnancyhormonesarerealyall
Anywho, these are just some of my random thoughts that have occurred during the first trimester. I’m a pretty open person most of the time and want to share my true experience with those who want to know. If you don’t want to know, well I didn’t make you click this link did I? And now that the world knows about Baby Franek, feel free to share thoughts and comparisons of how you felt! It’s been a crazy ride so far, but Madi and I are so thankful for this life that has been given to us and can’t wait for this experience to continue. We definitely appreciate all/any prayers that come our way while we embark on this journey!!
Thanks for keeping up with us,
- Olivia :)